HR, water and business

     What is the role of HR in business today? From my point of view, it is similar to the role of water in cooking, and indeed in the process of human life. Let's have more detailed look on such a point of view.

      Imagine a dinner table at some function. So many different dishes are present, each of them catches the eye and  attracts you to come and have a bite. You take a piece, put it in the mouth and ... then everything depends on what your taste buds and those, responsible for this matter, brain cells tell to you at the moment. Now have a look back into your memory to  the last time, when you were searching for job and, therefore, were browsing through the websites or newspapers related to the employment issue. Likewise, companies of any industry or sector in the market draw our attention to the unique offers and opportunities to their employees, putting the bright ads everywhere. But what really happens, after you become a part of the team, can be quite a different story.

     One might ask, how's all mentioned above is connected to the HR? Let me show, how. If creation of the beautiful ad refers to HR in one way or another, but  selection from the entire mass of applications the most suitable candidate is his immediate task. Not only select, keeping constantly in mind the "war for talent", but also properly allocate and retain to a maximum beneficial to both parties time. Time, which will give desired profit to the company, and proper compensation and satisfaction of his own professionalism to the employee. Are you still in doubt, where the direct link to the business is? I've  already mentioned, HR in a company is like the water in the process of cooking. Often this part is the most basic, and at the same time, it's not the most noticeable. In the corporate sector, sales and marketing take greater responsibility for profits and growth for the company itself. In cooking, the delicious taste of a dish, most likely, would be assigned to some specific spice or ingredient. But if we look at the rootcause, the other side of the coin can be seen. Imagine for a moment that you're going to cook the dinner. To prepare the rice you need water, cooking the curry is also impossible without it, after all even to wash vegetables, becomes a global problem, if access to the source of liquid is blocked. And depending on the number and proportions we can obtain either seethe or surprisingly crisp rice.Varying consistency of water in curry gives a choice to serve it either with chapatis, or just add to chaval. Now let's have another  look at the corporate. If you are planning to start a business - what process will be one the first priorities? Of course, recruitment. And how can we do it without own HR specialist, or without the professional from the recruitment agency? What kind of people will be recruited and how effective they will interact with each other, directly affects the profitability position and growth of the company in the market. HR identifies and aligns the goals of employees to achieve company targets, which enables both sides to form a clear mutual expectations. Water makes up 70% of the human body and it's hard to survive without consuming it for  more than a day. Some companies also save by eliminating HR from its budget, the only question is whether such actions are profitable in the long term. The blood, that carries nutrients and oxygen and supplies them to every cell, consists also from water to its great extent. The formation of thrombus or profuse loss may lead to lethal outcome. If the company has "thrombophlebitis" in internal communications or a low retention rate of the staff, we can assume that the business is already "stands with one foot in the grave."

     Where the unique value of water is understood you can see the reverent attitude of the population to this resource of life. Nowdays with the help of educational programs and projects related to the subject, attitude towards water varies in a positive direction. The same thing is happening in the field of human resources. Perception of HR in the corporate sector is changing from "let's have,then we'll figure out what for" to the full recognition of its importance and direct impact on the successful profitability an progress of the company.

my 'demo experience' of North Indian food

Whatever the doubts about the health benefits of Indian cuisine i have, not so many things can compare with it delicious taste. Taking into consideration my total love to cooking, after seeing the announcement of a free master class on North Indian cuisine in one of the best restaurants in town, i didn't take a long time to think,  dialed the proposed number and put my name in the lists of participants.

Honestly, I thought it would be something like "Master Chief", with the possibility of trying to cook on your own also. But after i saw the same number of vehicles at the hotel guest parking, I realized that most likely it is going to be just a demonstration with the possibility of tasting. That was actually true.



place for magic to happen



our experienced chefs



The spacious and lovely room already had chairs, screen, and a table on which the magic performance was going to happen.

The chef greeted those who were present and said that three of the most famous dishes: "Dal makhani", "Galouti kebab" and "Strawberry Phirni" would be shown. The names on their own have aroused my interest.

in the process

ready to eat



Yummy



are you ready to try kebab?

"Daal makhani" is prepared from the lenthils, in Hindi "Daal" means lenthils. Makhani means 'butter', but the title is there not only because butter is added to the dish in sufficient quantity, but also because the beans during cooking process acquire butterlike structure and taste. The traditional(or according to the rules of proper restaurant) dish is cooked allmost for the entire day. Imagine, first you cook daal for 6-7 hours, then add ghee and spices, and again put it on the fire for overnight. In the home environment 'daal makhani' is prepared only for the occasions, because it takes a lot of attention, patience and gas.

"Galouti kebab." A long - long time ago in the far north of India, there lived a harsh ruler. As soon as he get old, his teeth start to say 'goodbye'. Displeased with such a fact the ruler strictly ordered his cooks to invent a recipe for meat (he could not live a single day without it), where the teeth wouldn't be needed. Cooks took their time and served this kebab. The raja was pleased with it,because  "Galouti" can be translated as "the one that melts in your mouth." It consists of mutton, which is mexide with raw papaya, cashew pastes and a bunch of spices (all of them i've written on a piece of paper). Afterwards you add some 'smoke' and leave the dish for several hours. Chef assured the public that it is possible to eat kebab even raw, like American steaks. The last stage is 5 minutes of roasting on the huge pan. 



"Phirni" represents the  class of desserts. Dish has quite deep historical roots also. In our case, it was strawberry, because Mahabeleshwar is close and the season of the strawberries have already started there. It consists of milk and rice paste. Soak rice for 3-4 hours, drain water, grind. Add to hot milk and boil this  mixture for an hour at the skim fire. Next step is all about using your imagination to design the filling and flavor. Then put it in fridge for an hour or two for the acquisition of proper density. 'Strawberry phirni' s ready to be served.

After an hour of the observation i went to have a bite. A little bit of everythin. Broke a piece of kebab and put it in my mouth... was it me, who telked about law-fat and healthy diet? Meat just melts in your mouth, in the truest sense of these words. And those "roti", with which in the form of spoons you eat Daal they were simply Yum. Daal, mmmm, no words. I think that it was one of the most delicious of my experiments with Indian cuisine. Even the dessert could not leave me indifferent. Had a glance around, I noticed a lot of happy people who just received their "moments of heavenly delight", did a couple of pictures and went home.

Thanks to Pune festival and Radisson for master classes. The point for the hotel was difinitely advertising, because most visitors certainly will come more than once after they had tasted such a delicious cuisine. To ensure this coupons for discount as well as a lot of other free material were given to the participnats. Now i have an idea to cook something at home. Let's see, what can be done.

"Healthy Diet"

       In the 21st century the concept of a healthy and well- balanced diet has become very popular all around the world. More and more information appears in internet, books are published and various workshops are conducted. Some time ago I got interested in this topic, so that later, when i've moved to India, a lot of interesting points and observations appeared. I want to  some of them with you.

       Recently, scientists have conducted research on the most healthy cuisines of the enitre world. In the top 10 one could see Japan, China, France, Italy, Greece, etc. India was not event mentioned close by the top positions on the list. How can that happen with fresh vegetables, fruits avaliable during the entire year, vegetarian food? All of these points are correct. The main question is, how and in what form they are cooked and served.

     No longer the secret is that biggest amount of vitamins and useful elemnts can be found in raw fruits and vegetables. At the same time for lots of Indians the concept of eating raw vegetables sounds strange. Raw vegetables are considered as the basis for cooking food, but not like the food on its own. I still remember the surprise on the faces of  some colleagues : "Do you eat raw capsicon? Cabbage? Carrot? "-" Yes. " Many of them have tried this for the first time in 25-30 years of their lives. In restaurants, you can observe a 'green salad' in the menu. Please, don't be very surprised when you get a plate of sliced cucumbers, tomatoes and onions. That's it. The remaining raw vegetables are not taken into consideration. Nowdays the concept of fresh salads has started to spread around, but this salad (lettuce) can be bought only in a few supermarkets in the city. For example, in my area (25 minutes from downtown)  people haven't heard about such delights. (First months even muesli were considered as some foreign thing in shops of my society. But in the areas, closer to the centre, it's one of the most 'easy to find' things).

    Fruits. There are so many of them, and each one has it's own delicious taste. Actually, fruits should be eaten separately and on the empty stomach or at least 2 hours later after meals. It's nearly useless to explain it to those who are used to consume a "useful" dessert after quite heavy lunch.(This is the common thing in Ukraine also, proper dinners are usually finished with a fruit dessert, so it's more a matter of a habbit, not of a country) As well as the fact that the fruits should be eaten every day in large quantities. For me it's a bit strange, there are lots of things, but more people should be aware about 'how to get the maximum benefits for your health'.

     What can i say about the main dishes? The biggest number of them are roasted or fried. More precisely, there is almost nothing boiled. Food is cooked in quite big amount of oil or pure ghee (pure fat in other words). In recipes of curries it's said in a straight manner: "fry until until the ghee starts to separate." Just wondering sometimes, how much of it is needed to be put in there! I love the spicy taste of Indian food, less i like the fact that every meal in the restaurant is covered with a "thick layer of oil" . And, the cheaper the restaurant is, the more fat is there in the dishes.

      Some days ago i read in a newspaper that quite a large percentage of Indian population are overweight. It is not a big surprise from my point of view. Because, except main dishes with a lot of fat inside,you should cosider the quantity, not very active lifestyle, and dinner after 10 pm for majority of ppl. If we take into account the fact that in the evening it is desirable to have food 3-4 hours before you go to bed, in order to make your stomach feel happier. But at the same time the majority of restaurants in Pune has the highest density of customers at 9.30 -11 pm. And after the heavy meal people go home and sleep because tomorrow there is a new sedentary working day. The same thing will happen if you are invited to any event. Serving food starts at least at 10 p.m.(And at 11.30 the party most probably will fininsh). The good news is that recently the culture of fitness and sports is spreading with a higher speed .

     "Healthy" diet is also affected by a huge number of fast-foods. Whatever  marketing departments of Donalds and other such places say, the everyday eating of fried burgers, heavily seasoned with mayonnaise hasn't brought additional health benefits to anybody. As well as daily snacks, crisps and chocolates. The same applies to the 'healthy' nuts, if you have them 200 grams a day. I'm not saying that all of there should be excluded from the diet, if you're used to, just think more about how much you eat it in your weektime.

     In the end, i'd like to mention, that there are lots of different ways to have a healthy diet in any country. You just need to decide for yourself what's good for you and go ahead with it.

l'amour in desi way. part 3

        Today we are going to talk about a 'happy ends' in the relations. We're not going to discuss just 'ends',and will start from the end of the dreams and fairy tales,that one about the white dress(or awesome sari in local context). Or if to be more presized, we'll have a short look on the things, which are happening before marriage.

        The average age of the lucky ones, who have taken this live-changing decision, depends on the place, where you live. If it's a small village, then after 10th standard parents will do their best to find an appropriate spouse for a kid, especially for daughter (moreover if there are more than one of them in the family). In case of getting higher education somewhere in the college and then go up to MBA or other post-graduation, the age for marriage is postponed to from 25 for girls and 28 for guys. There is quite logical explanation, which roots are coming from the financial situations in the families. In the case of girls,she will have an opportunity to earn some additional money for future family budget. For guys the aim is to return part of the money invested in higher education by the family and build some level of financial stability for himself . Previously, after the wedding, ladies stopped working, and the main part of their job description were the duties of the housewife aka maintaining the house, cooking meals and raising children (this explains the fact that thin students of college in a few months would turn into "healthy women", that have enough power to stop running elephant). Taking this into consideration, the husband should be able to sustain the sufficient level of life in his own family and also help both of their parents, who would be retired by this time . Nowdays there is a thought, that "extra money never hurts" so the girl will continue her work in most of the cases. So, we had a brief idea of a marriage age and the logic behind it.

As far as we got, that guys are actually not bothered too much about this topic till 28-30, let's pay our attention to the females. At age 23 -24 search for a proper candidate starts. All the possible sources are going to be used: from the gossiping aunties, with young nephews till "an almighty internet" with it's broad choice of the matrimonial web-sites. A bit of details:

Parents and family. They will play major role in making an appropriate choice. Checking the matches by cast, level of the family, etc.

Aunties. This is the kind of ladies, who are busy watching serials on the TV and arranging private lives of younger generations with thehelp of exchange of photographs, personal information (about it  see more details) and 'blind dates'. These women are the best sales people in the family, because they always know the entire needs of the customers, have potentials solutions for the needs and can find USP in any proper candidate.

Newspapers. Honestly, matrimonial ads are one of my favorite pages in "Pune mirror" or similar publications. In the morning you can read them instead of anecdotes. That ads take 2 whole pages in the middle of the paper, also the content of the ads does not leave you indifferent. (Record of India was beaten by China, on the one of the squares "marriage day" was arranged. People were able to place their ads and pick up the phone numbers from the other ones)

Internet. The number of matrimonial sites in India is huge. Type "shadi" in Google and it will suggest you a number of places where you can creat a profile and go ahead. They all are build in social network design, so you can browse easily.

What are we actually looking for? or what is checked with an 'ideal candidate'?

Guys are advised to put their CTC and all other money benefits on their profile, this information is going to be used while screening and to count probable dowry. The additional things which can make profile more attractive are work permit in such magic countries as UK or USA, ownership of a car of a house. Interesting fact is that a lot of guys, who study and work abroad, prefer to find future wives back in India.

For a girl case is a bit easier: education, work, the body parameters.

In both situations you put caste, social status  and a place of birth.

Each of the things, mentioned above is described clearly but in the most beneficial for the candidate way.

Whats next?

After screening(word is widely used in recruitment, but i think it's quite suitable in this situation) of the avaliable profiles there will be calls, chats and, fortunately, meetings in the real life. In general parents communicate directly to each other to avoid future misunderstandings . And for many children this kind of attitude - 'parents choose the candidates who they like, and from them I choose who is the best for me' - is pretty fine. In the end everybody will feel good, that's what matters.

Parents had their talk, now it's time for the children. They have some meetings to get to know each other more and think if they are able to spend the entire life with this person. You're advised to use all your communication and questioning skills on this stage, because it will be much more complicated to turn back after you've said 'yes'.

In general, families pay attention to caste or state of birth and try to find a person from the same ones. This is logical, because many states within India are so different in culture and customs, that it seems you are moving from one country to another. Castes: nowdays  more and more young people can get a decent education and broad their outlook. The difference between people from different casts is basically in their thinking pattern. Higher castes are more open to new and progressive things. On the other hand, they also don't want to waste time on "bringing on the same way of thinking" a new family member. That's actually quite problematic, if a person lived for 25-30 years in totally different way.

Horoscopes and beliefs. Yes, many families compare horoscopes of the children. For this procedure you need only the location (coordinates) and time (exact) of the birthday. Previously horoscope was used as a way to getting at least some information about a future spouse (for couples who had the 'lucky' opportunity to see each other for 1 time maximum before marriage), now it's more like a psychological test for compatibility with the instructions of what to work on. Although if your compatibility in horoscope is 0 of 36, may be it's worth to think a bit before taking such an important decision.

Money and dowry. One of the first questions is about the salary of the guy and here the count of the dowry begins. I have already explained why it is this way. Also the psychological factor of the people is included here. 10-15 years ago the amount of the facilities avaliable was less and the level of the wealth of people was lower . With the development of outsourcing companies market has received lots high-payed jobs, people have got a possibility to afford to buy what has been seen only on the western ads before. So the young man should be able to afford a sufficient level of life to his future family.

Religion. Depends mostly on the family. Basically, I encountered only a few cases that the parents were against, if everything else matched the criteria. But such things can happen. Some Hindu families, may not be welcome by possible hindu in-laws if there is somebody who has already married the Christian. At this point all depends on the ability of parents and children find out all the important facts prior to the engagement.

What will be the next step?

Next comes a meeting of both families, selection of the dates for engagement and wedding. These things are mentioned in a special book, which has all the recommended dates for the various ceremonies. Most often, the couple will get married in a time interval from one month to a year. At this time they are officially considered to be the fiance and fiancee, have a full right to appear in public together (without too much gossipping behind the backs), go somewhere for the weekend. Both families are happy about the alliance and start prepartion for one of the major events in the life of a young couple.

One might ask: "What's about love marriage? With all that warm and beautiful feeling, etc, etc ". They exist, but basically, if you fall in love with someone of your level or you have a very open-minded family. I've already said that parents recognize the marriage as union for the entire life, and try to ensure that in all possible ways. There is a talk about such concept as "love after the arrangement." It's explained that you have the time to date with a second half and know him\her much better before the wedding, so there comes love. And a guarantee that they are going to get married, keep on motivation to work on yourslef. There is this positive side, since people learn to accept the partner and be more serious about the relationship. On the other hand it can be exactly the opposite: "In any case,we're goitng get married, so take me as i am, you have no other choice". But this depends from one couple to another.

In general, I want to say that Indian girls also dream about a beautiful wedding day. That day when they will be in charming sari, get lots of smiles and moments to remember for the entire life. With all the logical aspects of the marriage, sometimes the ray of emotions shows itself. For guys it's more important if future wife has found a common language with his parents, it is desirable if she knows how to maintain the house and cook food. Good appearance plays positive role more in the process of the selection of the candidates.

That's how modern search for the second half in India looks like from my personal point of view. Should it be called "only arranged" or "love after arrangement", everybody can decide for himself. I know exactly what it is: it's an established system that involves a lot of other institutions in the process of the preparation and organization of the major event. That can be matter to be discussed in the continuation of notes ...

l'amour in desi way. part 2. perspective of foreigner

We have already discussed the development of relations, which include the involvement of foreign halves. Let's have a brief  look what happens when there are "birds of a feather" in a couple.In this post I want to share a view of an foreign observer on building relationships in a pair which consists from 2 indian nationals. Also i would like to remind you that all the moments, mentioned below are only my observations and opinions. So your comments are the most welcome)
Let's assume that they are between 17 and 25, attending the college, or just have started their real jobs. In most cases it's still very early to think about marriage. Most likely students will build their relationship, not paying much attention to factors such as caste, place of birth and horoscope. Influence and views of the family play a big role in India. That's why parents simply will not be aware of the presence of a young man or girl who does not fit the criteria for a possible future marriage. How will they deal with it after the critical age comes? either by separating and getting married with properly arranged partners, or break all the rules and prove that the partner is worth to spend the entire life with.  But so far away from the wedding, there is still time and you can enjoy it 100%.
How do they get to know each other? The easiest way is through friends or at someone's house parties. On the street, at the supermarket and other public places it is not widely accepted to get acquainted , although modern ads claim that this is possible. But that's the role of the ads to tell the fairy tales to the customers. I was really surprised to get to know that a large percentage of couples hide their relationship from their parents, relatives, and only a limited number of friends are allowed to know about the presence of the object of adoration. Moreover, this situation could easily last for several years, which shows the Indians from different perspectives, which should be taken in to account while building personal and business relations in this country.
So, they have met each other. Immediately a logical question raises :how should we meet next time? If in public, that will preferably be with friends. The two of them can go for a movie or somewhere out of town. It's funny to see how the forts are fulfilled with the couples, seeking for separate places, on the weekends.They just want to sit and hold each other's hands (for anything more then this, even such places are too crowded). In the cities it's harder to show your feelings on public (And it also depends on the size of the city where you live. Multimillion ones are more open, smaller towns are more conservative about this issue.) Lot's of young couples in big cities have already stopped to pay lots of attentions to the reactions of the crowd, but still people are not very welcome to the hugging and kissing in the public places couples. Yes, you know - even the walls have ears and eyes, so that boys and girls don't want surroundings to gossip about them. Incidentally, Shisha cafe has even a signboard with similar content: "This is a family restaurant (shisha, hookah menyu.Order Shisha for the entire family and get a discount))). Customers who show feelings in public will be expelled. " Sometimes i really want to kiss (more than just the lips), under this board. Just to see, what's going to happen next Yet, the attitude of the crowd to  Indian pair, who show their feelings on public, is much easier than when there is a white girl. In this case the stereotype comes that girl is a easy to have sex with and a guy is pretty rich.
Is there anything more than kissing? Sex is there. But then again, depending on the family in which girl has grown up. With respect to the guys  the stereotype is the same: there will be no sign anywhere, so there is no big reason to worry. Modern policy of Bollywood and advertising shows the possibility of sexual relations in pairs before marriage. Young people are completely normal with this idea, more questions the older generation rises. They have theirs base for it,  because of upcoming marriage in the future. And it's quite hard to guess, which requirements your future in-laws are going to have.
What does happen then? As in all fairy tales, the relationship should come to the happy end or in other words - marriage. But this is going to be a big topic for another number of posts.
To be continued ...

l'amour in desi way

One day i got a request from my friend to describe the relationship beetween guy&girl in India. Well, to that issue i'm going to dedicate today's post. In the beginning i would like to mention, that everything is only the opinion of the author,so you have a full right either to agree or argue, the choice is up to you.

Part 1.

Let's start with a combination of "Hindu - Ferengi (aka foreigner)."

Situation #1. Hindu girl, foreign guy.

In most of the cases, guys come to work under contract or to travel for a limited period of time. That's why such pairs are relatively rare. Everything can be explained in quite a logical way - he will leave soon , has no plans for the future marriage,so what's the point in starting the relationship? Perhaps it's possible to happen, if a girl goes to college far from her own city, where her parents would not know about these affairs, and friends can keep their mouthes closed also. And yet - in most of the cases  the answer will be 'no',because  the girls will choose the guys, who are Indian and with who a joint further future seems to be more real. Even if they are from different states and castes. I would like to note that in any situation there are exceptions, I'm talikng about a very common case in this entire post.

Situation number 2. Indian guy, girl foreigner.

The point view 'Western girls are more easily accessible in terms of sex' does exist in the minds of the local people. I think, that we are simply less bothered about this topic. For some guys here sex  is what awaits them only after the wedding, and before that you have the entire www to get to know about it. Relationships are preferably short-termed because girls come to work on contract for a maximum of 6 months - a year and then return to the familiar culture, clothes, boyfriends and family. Yes, one more factor is age, because many Europeans in their 20 -24 years old just don't want to think about developing a serious relationship . I would  like to repeat that there are exceptions in every situation.

So, what contributes to the development of relations in a pair of I-F?

1. Internal desire to "try the exotic taste." Indians are drawn to white skin ('Fair and lovely' cream is sold on every corner), white people are also attracted by a brown shade. Well, also you can show off to your friends about the "cross-cultural experience."

2.Guys in India have this very "romantic" habbit with sending you a bunch of poems, stories and flowers by sms. (Thanks for Airtel and Tata for providing the free services)

 

3. The desire to have a loved one when you're away from your home. That applies both parties, because majority of Indian youth are working far from their hometowns.

Something to think ahead.

Family and parents.

Everything between you may be just fine, until you meet with the parents. It is not easy in any country. Lots of funny comedies have been already shown on this topic (The new one is coming "Small Fockers". People say, that it was a blast in US box-offices). In case of the international relations it is even more interesting. Best case is if parents just won't disturb you. They can be away quietly hoping that they ukids will breack up and go to theis home places before the marriage itself. You curse them, butparents have their reasons, which are quite logical. In case of India, marriage is - a very powerful social institution in which you enter once and for the entire life. Divorce is possible, but that's not very welcome in the society. The stereotype of Western cultures is that if something not pleasant is going on, people slamme the door and go away. So the older generations tend to prevent such cases in advance. As the saying goes 'with a little amount of blood'. On the other hand, it's all about the framework and limitations in mind. Tell your parents that you have a guy / girl from another country. I am confident that one of the first phrases is going to be: "There are no normal ones in our country?" "And could you find someone from Europe?" And so on. Here the perception is the same. Even if the parents are fine with you both, we have a bunch of relatives, educational level of which leaves much to be developed. There are also the financial aspects. The first one is called "Dowry" . Where does the bride's parents find these sums of money still remains a mystery for me (in fact, they collect them from her birth). And the marriage is the establishment of relations at a certain level, or caste. In the case of marriage with foreigner this all aspects may be missing.

Society, friends, etc.

There is a strange observation from my side.When people see that you're dating Hindu guy, then they suspect the you are both not very serious. Basically, their view is understandable when youconsider the reasons, mentioned above. Guys here are not so worried about the marriage aspect of the lifes. They can safely stay single up to 30 years old, then they will pick up the bride's from their parents choice. I smile from the  number of invitations i get in social networks.The are from random people who have noticed a white girl with a guy from their country on the profile photo. Want to be "friends", which is far from the truth in a 90 % of the cases.

Somebody may ask why I didn't mention much about the Foreign guys. In my 1.5 years of xp here I'm familiar with only one pair, where they have a Hindu girl and a foreigner guy. As one girl explained to my friend in very simple words: "I can go out with you somewhere together, if you're either my brother or best friend. In your case neither the first nor the second is true. " And is not that all the girls have such a strong internal morals here, but they are very thoughtful, logical and concerned about their future.

 

Your own Thoughts.

All of the above are external factors, but each of us has also its own ghosts in the head, which we carefully grow throughout our lives. You can call them easier - borders, morals, principles. That is the most interesting moment in building relations between different cultures, especially between the east and the west. Like all good things, the vision of the differences in perceptions and outlook, comes with time and then you have to choose the course of action.

And...

That's how you can briefly describe relationhips and factors which have influence in a pair of Indian-Foreigner. You can read the post and ask: "Is the relationship in such pair doomed to failure?". My answer - no. It all depends on your awareness and joint action. There are successful examples of couples who combine a variety of perception and culture. They might never admit to you that it's not all so easy in their everyday life, but they're coping with the differences successfully. We are sent to each other for spiritual development. All the factors just stands help you to be very clear in your mind about what can be expected and work on them. And every day our world comes close to be a real global village, so that the mixing of cultures does not cause such surprise and reaction as it was earlier. Just do it.  You're the only person responsible for the success of your relationship.

To be continued...

mirrors

      There is a saying: 'People, who're around you are your mirrors'. I totally agree with it. They show you to yourself. Even if you don't really like the reflection, or the characteristics they say. Sometimes you do stupid things 'just because you felt like that' or 'just because everyone else was doing the same'. At that particular moment you don't look around and think, what impact are you doing for your close ones. You do it once, twice, three times and then the other person just has no patience to sustain it. And it opens your eyes, you feel for a moment, that you were like a blind kitten in front of the obvious things, totally in power of own ego or any other 'small feeling'. I don't say that everybody is perfect, i just want to say, that the crucial thing in life is just active listening to your the most close people. They are the ones, who went through lots of different situations and life challenges together with you. And they know you from the top till bottom.  Then, why is it so easy to get dissappointed, pissed of with them? May be because you're trying to change something in them or to prove something. What is actually quite stupid, because they have already been with you and take you as you're with all your positive sides and all the crazy ones. I know, that i'm blessed by god to have this person in my life, even if sometimes i cover my eyes with black cloth and totally refuse to see myself in the mirror.

        Today is 2nd of January 2011 and i give a promise, promise to myself. Promise to take the black cloth off my eyes and take the reality as it is. Promise to take the earbuds out and  listen actively, what my reflection and my soul tell to me every day. Promise to keep my own way in the sea of the life, guided by my morals and do all the best to reach the land on the Horizons of the future.

        The main thing about the mistakes is that you need to realize them and go ahead. Do new ones, but use the experience of old. I'm grateful for these 2 first days of 2011, that they made me to learn something really important and valuable. Now it's only about my actions. Too much words have already been said. That's it.