We have already discussed the development of relations, which include the involvement of foreign halves. Let's have a brief look what happens when there are "birds of a feather" in a couple.In this post I want to share a view of an foreign observer on building relationships in a pair which consists from 2 indian nationals. Also i would like to remind you that all the moments, mentioned below are only my observations and opinions. So your comments are the most welcome)
Let's assume that they are between 17 and 25, attending the college, or just have started their real jobs. In most cases it's still very early to think about marriage. Most likely students will build their relationship, not paying much attention to factors such as caste, place of birth and horoscope. Influence and views of the family play a big role in India. That's why parents simply will not be aware of the presence of a young man or girl who does not fit the criteria for a possible future marriage. How will they deal with it after the critical age comes? either by separating and getting married with properly arranged partners, or break all the rules and prove that the partner is worth to spend the entire life with. But so far away from the wedding, there is still time and you can enjoy it 100%.
How do they get to know each other? The easiest way is through friends or at someone's house parties. On the street, at the supermarket and other public places it is not widely accepted to get acquainted , although modern ads claim that this is possible. But that's the role of the ads to tell the fairy tales to the customers. I was really surprised to get to know that a large percentage of couples hide their relationship from their parents, relatives, and only a limited number of friends are allowed to know about the presence of the object of adoration. Moreover, this situation could easily last for several years, which shows the Indians from different perspectives, which should be taken in to account while building personal and business relations in this country.
So, they have met each other. Immediately a logical question raises :how should we meet next time? If in public, that will preferably be with friends. The two of them can go for a movie or somewhere out of town. It's funny to see how the forts are fulfilled with the couples, seeking for separate places, on the weekends.They just want to sit and hold each other's hands (for anything more then this, even such places are too crowded). In the cities it's harder to show your feelings on public (And it also depends on the size of the city where you live. Multimillion ones are more open, smaller towns are more conservative about this issue.) Lot's of young couples in big cities have already stopped to pay lots of attentions to the reactions of the crowd, but still people are not very welcome to the hugging and kissing in the public places couples. Yes, you know - even the walls have ears and eyes, so that boys and girls don't want surroundings to gossip about them. Incidentally, Shisha cafe has even a signboard with similar content: "This is a family restaurant (shisha, hookah menyu.Order Shisha for the entire family and get a discount))). Customers who show feelings in public will be expelled. " Sometimes i really want to kiss (more than just the lips), under this board. Just to see, what's going to happen next Yet, the attitude of the crowd to Indian pair, who show their feelings on public, is much easier than when there is a white girl. In this case the stereotype comes that girl is a easy to have sex with and a guy is pretty rich.
Is there anything more than kissing? Sex is there. But then again, depending on the family in which girl has grown up. With respect to the guys the stereotype is the same: there will be no sign anywhere, so there is no big reason to worry. Modern policy of Bollywood and advertising shows the possibility of sexual relations in pairs before marriage. Young people are completely normal with this idea, more questions the older generation rises. They have theirs base for it, because of upcoming marriage in the future. And it's quite hard to guess, which requirements your future in-laws are going to have.
What does happen then? As in all fairy tales, the relationship should come to the happy end or in other words - marriage. But this is going to be a big topic for another number of posts.
To be continued ...
Let's assume that they are between 17 and 25, attending the college, or just have started their real jobs. In most cases it's still very early to think about marriage. Most likely students will build their relationship, not paying much attention to factors such as caste, place of birth and horoscope. Influence and views of the family play a big role in India. That's why parents simply will not be aware of the presence of a young man or girl who does not fit the criteria for a possible future marriage. How will they deal with it after the critical age comes? either by separating and getting married with properly arranged partners, or break all the rules and prove that the partner is worth to spend the entire life with. But so far away from the wedding, there is still time and you can enjoy it 100%.
How do they get to know each other? The easiest way is through friends or at someone's house parties. On the street, at the supermarket and other public places it is not widely accepted to get acquainted , although modern ads claim that this is possible. But that's the role of the ads to tell the fairy tales to the customers. I was really surprised to get to know that a large percentage of couples hide their relationship from their parents, relatives, and only a limited number of friends are allowed to know about the presence of the object of adoration. Moreover, this situation could easily last for several years, which shows the Indians from different perspectives, which should be taken in to account while building personal and business relations in this country.
So, they have met each other. Immediately a logical question raises :how should we meet next time? If in public, that will preferably be with friends. The two of them can go for a movie or somewhere out of town. It's funny to see how the forts are fulfilled with the couples, seeking for separate places, on the weekends.They just want to sit and hold each other's hands (for anything more then this, even such places are too crowded). In the cities it's harder to show your feelings on public (And it also depends on the size of the city where you live. Multimillion ones are more open, smaller towns are more conservative about this issue.) Lot's of young couples in big cities have already stopped to pay lots of attentions to the reactions of the crowd, but still people are not very welcome to the hugging and kissing in the public places couples. Yes, you know - even the walls have ears and eyes, so that boys and girls don't want surroundings to gossip about them. Incidentally, Shisha cafe has even a signboard with similar content: "This is a family restaurant (shisha, hookah menyu.Order Shisha for the entire family and get a discount))). Customers who show feelings in public will be expelled. " Sometimes i really want to kiss (more than just the lips), under this board. Just to see, what's going to happen next Yet, the attitude of the crowd to Indian pair, who show their feelings on public, is much easier than when there is a white girl. In this case the stereotype comes that girl is a easy to have sex with and a guy is pretty rich.
Is there anything more than kissing? Sex is there. But then again, depending on the family in which girl has grown up. With respect to the guys the stereotype is the same: there will be no sign anywhere, so there is no big reason to worry. Modern policy of Bollywood and advertising shows the possibility of sexual relations in pairs before marriage. Young people are completely normal with this idea, more questions the older generation rises. They have theirs base for it, because of upcoming marriage in the future. And it's quite hard to guess, which requirements your future in-laws are going to have.
What does happen then? As in all fairy tales, the relationship should come to the happy end or in other words - marriage. But this is going to be a big topic for another number of posts.
To be continued ...
Interesting post Olga, when I came back from India, many people were asking me about a situation in a realtionships:) Of course usualy I was talking about arranged marriage what is a shock for european culture. I know one indian guy from Colkata and he was dating with foreign girl - he's parents told him to stop otherwise he won't be a member of family... but I always remember about your and Utkarsh case and still telling everyone that in India it's many diffrent situations:) So I expect fast invitation to India for a marriage:)
ReplyDeleteMilosz